Winter Lamoland.

So I think I just got stood up for the first time. I was supposed to meet this guy from match and he didn't show. I guess there's a first - and last time for everything. I'm not going to take it personally. He's going to get bad dating karma. I sort of wanted to stay in and no drink anyway. Maybe I was telling the universe too loudly that I wanted to stay in, drink hot chocolate and read as opposed to going on a date. Meanwhile I'll be the first to say that I looked super hot tonight. Perhaps a bit too preppy with my pearls and blue striped shirt dress but the just came out of the rain hair fixed that. Nope, no shortness of self esteem here. Well, I looked hot until I got snowed on. A lot. Now I look- just came off the set of a Robert Palmer video hot. And I got an "aye mamasita" on my walk home. See- life is still good.

More importantly, I took my first "Strip Bar Cardio" dance class at Crunch. Until now, I didn't believe it was possible to teach me how to move my hands and feet in various ways at the same time. Or dance with the rhythms I usually have sans alcohol. But now I feel like I can conquer the world.. with my new found "dancing" skillz.

Oh yeah, so last night at a work party, after spending countless times at the jukebox with a coworker.. and then commenting on how I loved old school Coldplay, Ben Harper and various other artists.. also said that sometimes Coldplay's music (minus the repetitiveness) made me feel like everything was right in the world- my coworker asked me if I smoked. Err.. You know. Honestly, I don't. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out, but the times I have tried it, we didn't really get along. Felt stupid. And obviously I'm just high on life. Doesn't seem like I need it to get that errr inner clarity or introspection.

More Family Research

I've been sort of obsessing about researching my family. I guess once I get into something, it's hard to stop. I thought about doing something with history.. but it's the same way I feel about finance- I may find it interesting when it's my own-- but who knows how I'd feel about dealing with other people's families/finances.

Anyway, I also recently read "The Secret." I know.. cheesy. I couldn't even read it in public cause I was sort of embarrassed. I can't say I liked how it was written but I definitely agree with the general principals. Mainly that we send out vibes or whatever to the universe about what we're thinking and what we want. I mean how many times have all of thought of an old friend, and then randomly they called, emailed, or someone mentioned their names. Stuff like that. And the idea that you have to think positively to achieve your dreams. Do you think Tiger Woods is thinking he won't get the ball in? No, he's probably imagined the moment that it's already in.

So going back to family history.. my interest got revived after I started reading "The Other Boleyn Girl." I'd like to finish before I see the movie and have always been interested in European history. Having lost my last grandparent at 11, I never got to hear stories of the past straight from the source but am fortunate enough to have some family documents discussing our history. For one, a "crazy" aunt of my father's claimed we were related to Napoleon. So I started my research there. Still trying to figure this one out.. but so far one of Napoleon's supposed illigitimate sons has a small town in Minnesota named after him. AND the man who named the town happens to have lived in the town my ancestors lived in. Okay.. so there's interesting fact number 1. There's no question that if anything, that's a super coincidence.. and I found part of what I was looking for. Ironically the family that claimed this owned a store called "The New York Store." hmmm.

Then I started going back further and found tons of info on Abraham Perry, an great, great, great, grandfather of mine, who also is considered the founder of St. Paul, MN. There are books written about their voyage from Switzerland to Minnesota. It's amazing how much information is out there. I always wonder if 150 years from now, we'll have access to as much documented information. Seems email is more transient. Anyway, his daughter married a guy named James Clewett and upon researching him, I found him to be from Kent England. So fact number one that I have discovered is I am not Welsh as previously thought. But English. AND to finally bring things full circle-- perhaps enough to get me off of my search temporarily and back to reading "The Other Boleyn Girl" - I googled Kent, England and came to their website for tourists. And what did I find popping up on their home page- non other than a guide to movie locations shot in Kent with a still from the movie "The Other Boleyn Girl." Which I might add, does not pop up every time you enter on to the site. http://www.visitkent.co.uk

So as this week's Time Out New York has also discovered, there's some validity to that sixth sense we believe to have. It's only a matter of tapping into it and noticing the signs. So my next goal is to figure out in what direction that sign is pointing.

signing off for now to find some inner clarity with an hour of yoga.

Family Jewels

I started researching my family yesterday after remembering that a crazy aunt of mine said we may be related to Napoleon. So in conclusion- and according to wikipedia- I may be related to Napoleon. But more importantly see below (paternal side, second cousins)

Holy crap. I can't believe I'm related to these people. Can you tell they are from the Midwest? I can't remember who people are but I think most of the men are the children of my dad's cousin and the women their wives. If only my father also had a son..

The Apartment Above Me

OMG. The apartment above me had band practice until practically 1am. If you can call it a band. I swear there was a woman making tribal screams. Wait. why should I insult the sounds that a tribe might make. No. She made noise. A cat dying would be more accurate. Holy crap. Okay. So I may go to bed earlier than most. I try to turn off the lights by 11:30. But come on. Is there anything I do that affects the livelihood of others? Are they going to pay for my extra large coffee this morning? Pay for- karma-wise, the anger and frustration they caused me? Even after they finally stopped, I had dreams and tossed and turned, waiting for the music to come back on. Last year, I went up and asked him to stop. He had the nerve to explain to me that this was his job and he had to. ON A MONDAY NIGHT???? COME ON. If he were any good, he'd be able to afford a practice space.

What would my readers suggest? Putting an anonymous note on the front of our building (inside) that says, "To the "band" on the 4th Floor- Nobody appreciates your music after 11:30 on a Monday night."

Or should I slip a detailed letter, anonymously, under his door detailing how his music is effecting me- lack of sleep, anger, frustration, etc.

I know going the anonymous root is passive aggressive, but at this point, politely asking him to stop doesn't seem to be working, and I have some stuff to get off my chest.

Why I Hate Politics.. sometimes

2 Reasons why I sometimes think politics are stupid:

1- Candidates take opposing positions on issues just so they can differentiate themselves from their opponents.

2- It is frowned upon to change your position. Okay so not being able to make up your mind is definitely a weakness. But shouldn't candidates have the freedom to evolve their thinking and see the other side? I mean taking into account how someone voted years ago on a subject and then comparing it to decisions they've recently made doesn't seem to make that much sense. We are all judged on our past actions, but imagine if people judged me based on who I was 5 years ago, that wouldn't be fair. I'd like to think what I've learned has changed me and helped me evolve as a person.

Cha cha cha changes

Last night I was thinking about how much my life has completely changed between February '07 and February '08. Pretty much every aspect of my life is different except a few friendships, my gym schedule and my family. Last year, I was temping without health insurance at a company completely different than where I'm working now- at a millionaire's loft in Tribeca and very small company. Now I work at a medium sized ad agency that's part of a larger holding company- with very down to earth, friendly people. Last year I was dating an older guy who seemed cultured and interesting and I thought it would last. It didn't. This year, I'm single.

I have ended friendships since then and started new friendships. I even have a new roommate. My sister is in college for her first year. My parents finally have the house to themselves. They have a new kitten. I'm no longer constantly broke. My financial luck has changed. And when I say LUCK, I mean it. The bad luck I had in previous years financially were due to odd medical things like a gall bladder removal.. But this year, my financial luck has come in the form of Super Bowl winnings, universal government rebates and weird pay roll flukes. I even found a $20 bill a few weeks ago on the side walk. And the list goes on. 1 long time friend got married this year. At least 3 friends got engaged. The list goes on.

One thing that I've learned and hopefully any one who reads this will realize is that we have endless potential and there are infinite possibilities. I mean seriously. There were so many times when I was frustrated, thinking why me, and how bad could things get. Then they actually got worse. But as cliche as this is, it's made me stronger. And taught me to persevere and stay positive because things will get better. Everyone goes through ups and downs. So might as well enjoy the ride.

Starting to feel OLD... er

Last night I went to a b-day party for a younger coworker. The bar was in a random area - 35th between 5th and 6th. While I like my coworker and he seems to have cool friends, I have to say- the bar kind of sucked. ASS. The drinks were $9!!!! DUDE- there's a reason why I don't go to the Meat Packing! Or trendy clubs. So I certainly don't expect to have to deal with this kind of shit at a bar a half a block from Herald Square! It was also super crowded. Had to have been above maximum capacity. Do you think being packed in like sardines, having 1 BATHROOM- that's 1 STALL folks- for the women, and uber expensive, water downed drinks makes for a good experience. Although I have to admit, the music was good and I've never seen that many attractive men in one place. I can only assume they are not from Manhattan and are looking for their 24 year old B & T, overly primped counter parts. It all goes back to the movie Jumper. All special effects and flash but no substance. With both the same intent- to make money on the first experience (opening weekend/1 time costumer) without any thought as to how I'm enjoying myself or how to get repeat costumers. And to make matters even worse, they nearly lost my card.

This leads me to the same conclusion I've been coming to a lot lately- I either need to stop hanging out in Manhattan (possibly go to Brooklyn) or stop going to bars! I'm thinking a little of both. Getting too old for this crap!

NJ Transit = Awesome

Just got off the bus from NJ to NYC.. took a 7:20 then the subway. NJ Transit is awesome. The guy diagonal from me was actually rapping to his ipod/music OUT LOUD the ENTIRE 30 min trip. As if we wanted to hear his skillz.

Word.

Burrrrrrr

So this is the time of winter when I obsessively check the weather and get excited about every raise in degree.. if only I could go on a short vacation somewhere warm!

Holy Crap! Obama is a lefty. Dude, why didn't someone tell me. That's awesome!!!! Go Lefties!!!

Fo Shizzizzle

Yesterday my spinning class was 1 hour. That's 60 minutes of pain. I'm glad I didn't know this going in or else I would have busted out of there. I said busted. Anyway, post spinning class my teacher proclaimed that I'm the cutest. And that he'd love to see what I look like when I'm going out. And that I'd look like a ginger bread cookie or something. But that he loooves ginger bread cookies. I love that class. My sister tried to convince me that I should do less spinning and more running/weights. But I was like.. you don't understand. It's a paaartaay. Not work. Except when I feel like I'm going to pass out. Which is really every other minute.

For all my readers out there I gotz to say.. L to the R to the od.. L Rod. and cheers to wet boxes.

Pride and Prejudice

Watching the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice and seriously trying not to drool. He's one of the only celebrities I errr.. lust after. So sexy. But so not at all my taste in real life. Although I guess he exudes strength, intelligence and sophistication. All qualities that I admire and wish more men would exhibit. Dang, even the promo for other Jane Austen films was compelling with the perfectly appropriate and romantic Cold Play song, Fix You. Yeah, okay. I'm in that-- it's cold outside, haven't had a boyfriend in a while, just want to cuddle- sort of mode and clearly this movie isn't helping.

Jumper

I just saw the dumbest movie, Jumper. I seriously wanted to jump out of the theater. Please, someone tell me how they spent that much money filming around the world and creating special effects but couldn't put a decent story together or screenplay if their lives depended on it. Seriously- what a great concept but horrible execution. It angers me that Hollywood will put these flashy films out there just to get make money on the opening night without totally thinking the movie through. blah.

Friday Night In

So for the first time in weeks? months? I spent Friday night in. It feels really good to relax and sort of get back to what I love. A movie, music and drawing.

Mariah Carey

According to some guy on facebook, I'm really cute and look like Mariah Carey. That's awesome.. I think. I'm, like, the whitest girl I know. I never know what to do about those facebook messages/ friend requests. I mean, I'm flattered that they've taken the time to email me.. but don't want to lead them on, and don't really feel like writing them back.

Valentine's Day

So I may have a date for Valentine's Day.. a first date in fact. I wasn't planning on doing anything except go to one of my favorite spinning classes but then we both realized that Thursday was the only day we had free. I feel like I'm always busy, and wouldn't it have been ironic if the stigma of having a first date on V-Day actually prevented me from having a date?? Ironically, the holiday only complicates going on normal dates. Adds unnecessary meaning, makes people feel bad, and freaks guys out. Last year, the guy who I was dating for about a month at the time (Italian Stallion) completely avoided the holiday. Which in turn made me feel bad, but in the long run, was an indication that it wasn't a match.

By the way, am I the only one who actually likes Conversation Hearts? Last week I had a dream about them. All those chemicals couldn't possibly have any calories right? Someone should make mad libs using conversation hearts. I was going to try one but then realized I'd have to find adjectives, nouns, etc. So instead I'll record what I'm eating....

"You & Me," "In a Fog," "Nice Girl," "Get Real," "And," "My Baby," "One I love," "True Love," "Nice Girl." I'm so over this.. as if I only had 10 candies..

The best Valentine's Day I had of memory is I think senior year of high school. Or maybe it was junior year. I was on the speech and debate team. It must have been Junior year cause I was trying to look good for college. Anyway, we had a big competition in Boston at the Latin High School.. oh yeah baby-- where Matt Damon went to school. And stayed in a hotel probably near Cambridge. We went to UNO's and in the front of the restaurant, they had a bowl with cheap, valentine's day cards that your mom used to make you hand out to your classmates. The idea was that you'd write something and have the waiter pass it along to your crush. Brilliant.. to this day, I haven't seen another restaurant do it. I guess it worked cause there were so many college kids there. I remember some cute Harvard guy passing along his number, which probably made me glow for a week since I was such a big dork. Memories.

John's

Okay, it's obviously a really common name but lately, it keeps popping up everywhere. At one point, I was dating two of them. On V-Day, I may have a date with another. Today, for the millionth time, I ran into my ex-boyfriend's friend named John. I'm related to one, two if you count distant, by marriage. I hang out with two on a fairly regular basis- both of whom I refer to by their last name. What is the universe trying to tell me? With all my johns..

err.. haha.

Sunday

Kind of sad that the weekend is almost over. I don't really feel like I relaxed much at all but it was definitely and fun and productive one. Once again, I hung out with a fun crew, drank too much and went to bed way too late. And this weekend I have a big work party on Wednesday that I'm looking forward to, but not looking forward to the morning after.. don don don don. Don't really know why I'm writing- don't have much to say. Need to stop drinking cause I kill too many brain cells.

Super Bowl Video

Strange But True

Monday night I had a dirty dream about my yoga teacher.. (a woman). I'm not going into detail but needless to say I know enough about dreams to guess it doesn't simply mean I'm a lesbian. Anyway, today I was dumb enough to leave my keys in my apartment. I specifically remember the moment that I was going to obsessively check my bag before leaving, and thinking of how obsessive I am and that it's probably in there, so I didn't. Wrong. Der. So I unknowingly left without my keys and had a pretty good day. I wore a very cute, new shirt dress from H&M and got lots of compliments.. and after work I sort of felt like I wanted to go out. In fact, I texted my friend and said I wanted to go out but should go to my yoga class.

Well, I got what I wished for when I realized that I couldn't actually get into my apartment and had to stay out. So I chilled in Starbucks and eventually when I didn't hear back from my roommate by 7:15, figured I'd buy something at the Gap to wear tomorrow and go back to NJ. Weird but true- ran into my yoga teacher at the GAP who I had above dirty dream about. I explained to her that I hoped to get to her class and she wisely said that maybe this was all meant to be. Finally, while in the changing room, I got a text back from my roommate that she wouldn't be home for another hour. So seeing as how I needed to get some new workout clothes, I bought clothes there and ran to my class. Home sweet home. I don't know what all that meant. But clearly I'm giving a friend a copy of my keys as soon as possible-- something I should have done a long time ago. It's like insurance. It's a pain to make copies, etc. but can save a hell of a lot of money not having to call the locksmith. tootles.

Voting

I was going to vote this morning but I'm still pretty undecided between the two. If I vote for a certain person, then my family will be split down the middle.. my sister and me voting for - and my parents voting for -. Hopefully I'll figure all this out during my lunch break- and will have time!

Football and gambling

I won $400 from my company football box thing. Amazingly my box was 3 and 7 so I won from the 2nd and 3rd quarter scores! Which makes me think about this whole luck thing. I've had an amazing weekend. Finally got a job after nearly 2 years of freelancing. Worked things out with a friend that was on the rocks. Met some more super cool people. And did really freakin good with my win tonight. I'm totally thankful for everything that's happened. But I have to say there were so many times last year and in '06 that I felt like I had the worst luck and things were going so badly.. almost sort of rock bottom. It's a great lesson and reminder to keep your head up and that things will get better. And that you can appreciate the good so much more with the bad. I'm just astounded as to how you really can't predict where you'll be in a year.. and how different life can be.

peace out and with love.

Famous Model

I work in the same building as a famous fashion designer and right before the fashion shows, our office has the pleasure of taking the elevator with beautiful, mostly Eastern European Amazonian women. Today, in walks a "famous model" (from Canada, blond and not Amazonian).. and she knocks my coworker with her folded, wet umbrella. My coworker scolds her and tells her to put it away. Then the model asks if there's a 15th floor, to which I reply she's probably looking for the 9th. And she proceeds to ask someone closer to the bottoms to push them for her. Then eventually it's only me, my two coworkers and the famous model. I awkwardly tell them a funny story and the model laughs along with them.

Awesome. I love. My Life.